  
To learn more click here: About
Couples Therapy
To get help click here: Couples
Therapy
(c) 2012 by Judy Lightstone
Relationship counselling
offers a safe place where each
person can be heard, first by the therapist, and ultimately by each other.
This type of therapy tends to be more efficient than individual therapy because
you get to work through your relationship issues together, as a team. It helps
to clarify the issues. Sometimes the therapist acts as a translator, but not as
a referee. It helps to start by exploring the strengths of the relationship, and
what makes for positive mutual experiences.
Sometimes understanding the
history of the problem in your relationship and the histories that each
individual brings to the relationship can help to uncover familial patterns that
may be repeating themselves through the generations. When this is the case, We
can use a genogram- an emotional family tree of interactional patterns - to help
you understand where some basic assumptions and communication styles may come
from. Understanding this will help you see each other more accurately, with less
intrusion from past relationships. You may begin to remember what drew you to
each other, and what you have to offer each other over the long run.
Sometimes understanding
the history of the problem in your relationship and the histories that
each individual brings to the relationship helps to uncover familial patterns
that may be repeating themselves unconsciously. I may help you to draw a
genogram- a family tree of interactional patterns, to help you understand where
some basic assumptions and communication styles may come from. As you start to
see each other more clearly, simpler forms of relating start to take place. You
may remember what drew you to each other, and what you have to offer each other.
Marriage and Family Therapists (MFTs)
are uniquely trained to help people deal with their relationships (or
lack of) both in individual and in relationship or systems counselling. Training
and experience in conflict resolution teaches us how best to intervene in relationships in trouble that are friendship or work based as
well.
Relationships can bring out the best and the worst in us, cause us heartbreak
and ecstasy. Our romantic relationships, be they heterosexual or
gay, within or outside of the institution of marriage, intimate, distant,
or from afar, effect all other aspects of our lives. So too do our
relationships with friends, co-workers and other family members. They are too important to
treat lightly.
Relationship counselling sessions are charged at $135 for a 50
minute session or $162 per
60 minute session.
To make an appointment, click here:
Make an appointment
For a description of Couples Therapy Approaches used see:
Couples
Therapy Page
10 MYTHS ABOUT "HAPPY COUPLES"
1.
Arguing = trouble.
2.
Distance = trouble.
3. Opposites attract.
4.
Flattery will get you nowhere.
5.
You have to agree on the
BIG issues (like children, sex and money).
6.
People divorce because
they “grow apart”.
7.
Couples divorce because
they get older and change physically.
8. The more sex the better.
9.
A fat woman will
lose her man.
10. Men and women have to
be equal in a good marriage.
For more on this see:
Myths and Truths about "Happy Couples"
* * This
article does not apply to couples struggling with physical or sexual abuse. Much
stronger interventions are required in those cases to first and foremost keep
all parties physically safe. For resources on this topic, please see:
http://www.womensrefuge.org.nz
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Auckland PSITM Institute